honestly my dad is such a freak he never says goodnight like a normal person he just says “i’ll be back” and he goes upstairs and when you ask where he is or go looking for him hes asleep and the next morning when you see him he just says “good morning im back’ like what is wrong with him
He’s giving you an amazing memory to always associate to him, this is funny and adorable!
this is for all the girls who are big girls that don’t have a skinnier middle than their butt and thighs
the ones whos bellies hang over their underwear
who’s waist size is thicker than their shoulders, butt, or anywhere else on their bodies
who’s boobs are bigger than their butts, they have curvy lumps on their backs, muffin tops, chicken legs, thick arms and smaller bodies, no boobs, no butt, all middle, whatever.
you’re loved too. don’t forget that.
Video: Nick Offerman Recites Some Profound Shower Thoughts [gifs via]
this is the realest shit ive seen in a while
I hate being told to do something I was already planning on doing
like I was all about doing this task, and then you told me to do it and now i am annoyed and this task is now 300x less likely to be completed
-Her (via kushandwizdom)
Things I will not judge you for:
Things I will judge you for:
•Not signalling while driving
•How you treat wait staff
•Which way you think the toilet roll goes